poka bean

eight ways to make jon wallace miserable

1. Force him to spend a full day making cookies, hanging lights, decorating the tree, and doing Christmas crafts with two holiday spirit-crazed females, namely me and his mother.

2. Cause him to miss the best surf of the year by volunteering him for a full day of Christmas cheer activities...see #1.

3. Take so long getting ready that you no longer have time to grab dinner before the movie you've planned to go see, thus forcing him to eat movie theater popcorn which always gives him a stomach ache.

4. Wait an extra long time in between shifting gears in his beloved truck so that the engine revs loudly and then always slam on the brakes. A lot.

5. Make him "share" the comfy sofa chair with you so that you get to cuddle and he is squished into a space half his size for the duration of a movie.

6. Drink all of his water.

7. Repeatedly ask him what he's getting you for Christmas until he says, "Do you really want to know?" and then scream, "NO!" Of course I don't want to know, you moron! No matter how much I beg you, you are not supposed to even enterTAIN the idea of telling me! Duh." to which he will undoubtedly respond, "Then why do you keep asking?" which means he obviously doesn't understand the game and you must forge ahead in this circular argument for approximately ten more minutes. This one is particularly vicious and not recommended on an empty stomach.

8. See numbers 1 and 2.

Posted by Poka Bean at 4:01 PM