Wednesday, April 13, 2005

if it's bumper-stickery in nature, i don't want your loving memory

At least once or twice a week I see a car, or more typically a large truck, with a sticker on it that says something like this:

In Loving Memory Of
Sarah Jones
1991-2004

Now I really don’t mean to sound cold or heartless or calloused here but honestly, I don’t get this. WHAT is in loving memory of your beloved deceased, your giant truck? Do you really mean to tell us that you went to the Ford dealership and bought that beastly F350 to dedicate to the memory of your lost loved one?

People dedicate park benches or plant trees in someone’s memory all the time. I get this. It makes sense. It’s usually done to honor a special place their loved one enjoyed or to create something to live on in their honor long after they’re gone. But your giant, gas-guzzling truck? The logic doesn’t follow. This is what gets you to the liquor store and the gun show. Unless your 13-year old little girl was into monster truck racing or off-roading in the desert, this doesn’t seem like much of an honor.

Again, I don’t mean to be harsh or heartless. I know it’s not my place to judge the way anyone copes with grief or loss. But I just can’t see myself feeling compelled to slap a big sticker on the back of my Civic if I were in their shoes. I can’t imagine wanting to advertise my loss on the back windshield of my car.

I’m sorry if this makes me a jerk but honestly, I just don’t understand the gesture.

So to MY loved ones reading this, this is my official plea: Please do not put stickers about me on your cars when my time comes. Not even on Jon’s Tacoma, the coolest, greatest, hottest truck of all time, hands down.

Instead please honor my memory by going to the beach a lot, hugging Jon EVERY day, eating a lot of bacon and ice cream, and once in awhile making soap. THOSE are the things that would truly honor my memory and cause me to smile down upon you from my cushy beach chair in the sky.

Posted by Poka Bean at 8:04 AM

4 Comments

  1. Blogger Bearca posted at 4:17 PM  
    I'm so with you on this one... I mean really. How does a bumper sticker actually honor someone's memory? I also see these all the time and I've even seen more than one car with the same name. Are they distributing these bumper stickers at funerals nowadays? Morbid...
  2. Blogger Emily posted at 8:53 AM  
    Um, hi. Could I possibly be laughing any harder right now?!

    The "in loving memory" vehicle insignia is a phenomenon I was unaware of before moving to Orange County. But even at that I really feel like those people are just visiting for the day from somewhere more inland.

    Abs, when you die I will tatoo "In Loving Memory of Abigail Wallace" across my ass... so as I eat more bacon and ice cream, as you've requested, people everywhere will know that the growing size of my buns is directly proportional to my unending love for you.

    ps - alternative bumper sticker completely devoid of sentiment: I [heart] a dead person with a completely generic name. (oh dear, am I dead inside?)
  3. Blogger Val posted at 9:34 AM  
    I don't know you at all, but I think you have an excellent point about the morbidity of bumper sticker memorials. And your friends are hilarious! I really like the tattoo idea. Bring on the ice cream and bacon! Haha. Have a great day!
  4. Blogger Poka Bean posted at 10:38 AM  
    thanks for visitng, val! i looked at your profile and would like to commend you for your excellent taste in classic films...anyone who loves father goose is welcome here anytime.

Post a Comment

« Home