poka bean

the one with all the hate mail

Yesterday I returned home from a lovely, relaxing camping trip with my hubby to find several angry comments awaiting me on very old posts. You might think this upset me, but it had quite the opposite effect. I had a good long chuckle and then began celebrating finally having something fun to write about! Ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes...

Hate Mail #1
Posted by rationalvoice23 on 8/10/06 at 11:57 PM on this post dated 3/16/05.

The reason Terri-Rae Elmer's on the air is because she's good. Face it, if
she wasn't, she would probably be bagging my groceries for a living, just like you.

Instead of asking yourself questions just to hear yourself talk,
why not actually try to rationally answer your own verbal upchuck...

"why, why, WHY do they let her do that repeatedly on air?" Because more
people like her as opposed to people who don't. Was that so hard to comprehend ass master?

Btw, i made an acct just to burn ur ass. Suka.

Now to begin, I would like to make a public apology to Terri Rae for having carelessly and hurtfully made negative comments about the way she gives the closing line to all of her news reports on the radio. I didn't realize my post would come up as the 3rd item listed on Google when one searches for her name but after getting this random comment on a post that's over one year old, the thought occured to me to check. What do you know, there it is. So shame on me. I'm very sorry. It was wrong of me to do that and truly rude and unkind. It was not my intention to defame anyone in the public eye. I will leave that old post up only briefly and then I will delete it altogether.

Now to rationalvoice23, I must ask...where did you get the idea that I bag groceries for a living? I have in fact never been employed by a grocery store, as a bagger or in any other capacity. Nonetheless, thank you for the new nickname! "Ass Master." I like the sound of that. And thank you for making an account just to burn my ass. It feels downright scorched! Hot as blazes! Charred, singed, seared! For a minute there I had to STOP, DROP, and ROLL.

Oh yes, and for those of you who couldn't crack the code, "suka" is my clever hate-mailer's way of calling me a "sucker" in truly cool hip-hop jargon. The correct pronunciation isn't SUE-kah as you might think. It's "sucka."

Hate Mail #2
Posted by rationalvoice23 on 8/11/06 at 12:06 AM on this post dated 2/16/05.

I just realized you have no talent as a writer...

Fortunatley, i'm not one to rain on anyone's parade without offering an umbrella:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0935166076/sr=8-3/qid=1155279406/ref=pd_bbs_3/103-8526384-6270269?ie=UTF8

There u go; a link to a book that could possibly help you redeem a
fraction of your adult audience.

Thank you for the book recommendation! I love books. I will definitely check it out. And hey, catchy line there with the raining on the parade and the umbrella thing. I'll have to remember to use that.

I'm really grateful for the writing advice. It carries a lot of weight coming from someone as obviously intelligent and eloquent as you, and someone with such excellent spelling and grammar skills to boot! By the way, what do you mean by "redeem a fraction of your adult audience?" Redemption's not the goal of this blog. In fact, I believe only Jesus can redeem people. I would never pretend to be able to do it myself! Did you maybe mean the book could help me redeem my writing? My horrible, horrible writing?

Hate Mail #3 and #4
Posted by rationalvoice23 on 8/11/06 at 12:10 AM on this post dated 2/10/05.

Okay, I officially vow to never read another word of this (lame ass) blog so
long as i live...

Punctuation man; punctuation.
Sheeeit.

And then posted at 12:11 AM, one minute later...

Hrm, hrm... Woman.

Sheeeit.

Okay, easy there, partner! This is a family show. Let's watch our potty talk! (Although kudos to you for the phonetical spelling of the potty word as pronounced in a southern drawl. Nice effect!) Hopefully that book you recommended previously will help me with all those punctuation problems I seem to be having. Gosh, how I hate to see readers go down based on punctuation. Such a shame! But "Hrm, hrm...Woman???" You've got me on that one. Is it secret code? Or a foreign language perhaps? Lord knows I've just barely mastered English, you can't go busting out with stuff that's so far over my head like that!

Posted by Poka Bean at 1:27 PM